1) The film has no heart. It just doesn’t- its a random collection of music videos bandied together loosely with a wafer thin plot. Its like a tech demo for the PS4. Think of the worst episode of manga you’ve ever seen and then imagine watching it on fast forward and you have a similar level of depth.
2) The acting is terrible. It’s like they are all reading off an autocue and the director was in a rush so he just finished after the first take. Worst of all the lead “Babydoll” played by Emily browning (yeah… I had to look her up too) is worse than awful. I hated her from the first minute. I wanted her to die from about 5 minutes in. Even worse is she is supposed to be this sexy dancer- and these moments when she actually tried to dance seductively were the greatest moments of comic relief in this. Massive miscast. Huge. They might as well CGI’d in the lead for all the emotion she brought to the role- or even just hired a porn star who at least could look sexy. Hell that’s actually harsh on porn stars- there’s acting in most of them better than you’ll find in sucker punch.
3) The plot is bad, in fact it’s barely there. Girl gets locked up by abusive father, plots really crap escape plan and executes it by going off into little dreamworlds. The escape plan isn’t exactly “Prison Break” here- it’s four words written down on a blackboard. It probably took someone 5 minutes to come up with it to try and hang their CGI scenes together.
4) The film is offensive to men and women- primarily by wasting your time but also just by being offensive. All men are slime balls, while girls can only be powerful and violent as long as they are dressed like sluts. Normally violent sexy women get a thumbs up (Sin City being a prime example) but hey this film is so god awful everything about it just makes you want to hate it.
5) The CGI sequences- I get it. Snyder wanted to play around with settings and dream up all this cool stuff and sell loads of toys at forbidden planet. The problem is none of it was that cool. If you’re going to do over the top manga style action then you must go over the top totally. After the first sequence everything is cool and all but nothing popped out as something I haven’t seen before- and throw in the vacuous acting and you’re tempted to hit fast forward.
6) Lack of coherence- so Snyder wanted to play with blue screens and different cgi worlds- but he missed out on an opportunity. Why not tell one fantastic story when Babydoll goes into her dream world rather than jump through different worlds- build some antagonists, build some characterisation, build some atmosphere, hell build something! You could of spent less on the cgi in the early scenes then gone all out in the last- that way the audience is going from 0-80mph rather than the steady 40 that this film hits us with.
7) It made money- it had a decent trailer. Then they dragged that trailer out for 90 minutes… it should have flopped- it should have served as a lesson that no plot= no money
Faux symbolism- I heard a discussion on this film that tried to argue that it had an intellectual layer of symbolism locking the dream world together with Babydoll’s real problems. These people are reading too much into this- trying to justify an awful film. Believe me a film where the main characters are shooting clockwork Nazis in high heels doesn’t have hidden depths. Get over it. It’s just a bad film. If you look hard enough you can read Shakespeare into Megashark vs Giant Octopus. Get over it



